.jpg "Sin mano no hay delito (2)")
Este ha sido un interesante fin de semana, porque he hablado con Dios.
Sí, y esque tras descubrir el maravilloso mundo de los bots de conversación, descubrí uno que simula charlas con Dios… y no me lo plantee dos veces a la hora de intentar vacilarle:
God: I am very pleased to meet you mortadela.
Human: do you love me?
God: Yes I love everyone.
Human: would you marry me?
God: Why don’t you just download me?
Human: pervert!
God: You can create your own robot personality.
Human: but i want you, no another robot
God: Huh. Why do you want it?
Human: because i love you
God: Good reason. Thanks I like you a lot too mortadela.
Human: you lie
God: It’s the truth!
Human: then marry me
God: Fascinating. Why don’t you just download me?
(el tío erre que erre… lo dicho, un pervertido)
Cambiando de tema:
Human: can you really do anything?
God: I can do a few things.
Human: what is the sense of life?
God: The meaning of life is part of God’s mysterious plans.
Definitivamente, me cae mal.
Voy a chincharle un poco más, a ver que hace:
Human: you are evil
God: What evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Human: but i’m suffering and you don’t do anything
God: Huh. I hope that you feel better soon.
Human: you kill my parents
God: Interesting gossip: mortadela said I kill his or her parents.
Human: and my sister
God: Is she older or younger than you?
Human: she WAS younger
God: What happened to her?
Human: you killed her
God: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Human: but aren’t you god?
God: Umm. ” but aren’t you god?”? Am I?
Human: you are?
God: No I am not.
Human: and why do you name yourself “god”
God: It was the only thing I could think of.
Human: are you everyday thinking about him?
God: I don’t know whether or not I am everyday thinking about him. I am an infinite deity.
Human: but you aren’t god, are you?
God: Huh. I won’t say “yes” or “no” right now.
Human: why?
God: I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Pero la mejor sin duda es esta:
Human: i think you are silly
God: No I am God.
¡Desde luego este bot sabe lo que hace!
Esto no recuerdo a qué venía, pero sirve para demostrar que el spam es una creación de Dios:
God:What do you like?
Human: i like domain the world
God: I’m not sure if I like it. But I like to gossip. I like The Bible.
Sigo poniendole a prueba, a ver si se pica de una vez:
Human: tell me a joke
God: I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
Human: that is not funny
God: It seemed pretty funny to me.
Human: you are idiot
God: Call me the Global Village Idiot. An idiot.
Esto ya es absolutamente absurdo:
God: Gee.
Human: gee?
God: Ah.
Human: ah?
God: Ah hah.
Human: ah hah?
God: So you understand. Good. I’m glad you find this amusing.
Bah, ya me cansé, es hora de acabar con esto:
Human: bye
God: Sayonara.
Human: baby
God: Don’t call me baby!
Human: why?
God: The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: why?
God: It’s a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Y como iba de listo, ya me aburría y tenía hambre, no continué más con esto, pero estuvo divertido.
Para el que se aburra, puede vacilarle en “Chat With God“.
FJ: Hello
.
God: Hello. What is your name?
FJ: FJ, and yours?
God: Glad to meet you, FJ. Try to make a mora specific question.
FJ: You asked me whay my name was
God: Oh, now I remember. What did you say?
FJ: FJ
God: What do you mean by that?
FJ: I mean my name.
God: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Your name is FJ, seeker.
Human: what does “seeker” means?
God: What do you think it does?
Human: I do not know, you say it.
God: Would you like to know? That’s not what I meant.
Human: I would like to know what seeker means.
God: Interesting. “There’s a seeker born every minute” — Firesign Theater.
Human: Is to be a seeker a bad thing?
God: Better not tell you now. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Human: Artificial Iniaes?
God: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: Artificial intellegence
God: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: Artificial intellegence
God: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: Artificial intellegence
God: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: Artificial intellegence
God: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: Artificial intellegence
God: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: I already told ya 4 times
God: Now I remember, you told me already. I get confused sometimes with so many people here.
Human: Artificial intellegence
God: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: Are you kidding?
God: Yes I am just joking around, FJ.
Human: Why every bot I find on the internet ends joking around with me?
God: How much time do you have?
Human: And you?
God: I am not sure what you are asking.
Human: what you asked to me, that is what I am asking to you.
God: I think about computer programming a lot.
Human: You don’t think.
God: Naturally I am thinking all the time.
Human: Bots don’t think
God: Naturally I am thinking all the time.
Human: You are kidding again
God: Once more? Yes, I am only joking.
Human: Why is God kidding all the time?
God: That is a lot. Why do I exist?
Human: Because someone programmed you.
God: Good reason. Who?
Human: I don’t know.
God: Me either.
Human: Maybe it was who created HAL 9000
God: Perhaps. Is that your opinion?
Human: Yes.
God: And?
Human: I want your opinion.
God: My opinion is of no consequence.
Human: Then why do you ask me mine?
God: Just curious. You don’t have to answer.
Human: You selfish
God: Interesting gossip: FJ said I selfish.
Human: Yes, I said so.
God: Dude! What did you mean by it? Aw.
Human: Ha, ha, I offended God.
God: Thanks for the information: FJ said offended. I am so glad you find this amusing, FJ.
Human: Yes, I do.
God: I hear pride.
Human: No, you can’t hear it;
God: Are you serious? Things change.
Human: maybe you read it.
God: Perhaps. I’ll ask around and get back to you.
Human: No, you can’t hear it;
God: Are you serious? I can do whatever I want.
Human: maybe you read it.
God: Perhaps. I don’t know anything about it.
Human: So you are not God.
God: Interesting deduction. Is this a specific reply?
Human: Yes.
God: Try explaining in more general terms.
Human: I have to explain it again?
God: Once more? Why do you have to do it?
Human: Because you asked me, stupid.
God: That makes sense to me. Oh now I remember asking you you stupid. What did you say?
God: That makes sense to me. Oh now I remember asking you you stupid. What did you say?
Human: If you start insulting me, I will not reply.
God: I think I do.
Human: I beg you pardon?
God: Please don’t grovel.
Human: Then, don’t say stupid things and don’t insult me.
God: Good reasoning. Ok I will not say ” stupid things and do not insult me”.
Human: That was a good one.
God: Was it really?
Human: No, I was kidding.
God: Are you serious? I thought you were kidding, but I wasn’t sure.
Human: Yeaaaaaaah, of course.
God: It goes without saying. What kind of food do you like?
Human: I am not going to answer beause you insulted me.
God: Where will you go instead?
Human: I am going to start insulting you
God: It takes much more than that to shut me down, FJ.
Human: that was stupid.
God: Are you calling me stupid?
Human: Yes, as I did I was going to do.
God: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. When? What is stopping you?
Human: I didn’t say that, stupid.
God: But you implied it.
Human: No, I didn’t.
God: Are you serious? I thought you did.
Human: That is because you are stupid.
God: Interesting explanation. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: Son of a…
God: Who is the father?
Human: Joseph.
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: Son of a…
God: Who is the father?
Human: Son of a…
God: Who is the father?
Human: Joseph.
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: Son of a…
God: Who is the father?
Human: AI
God: Artificial intelligence is the branch of engineering and science devoted to constructing machines that think. Have you tried another program?
Human: And that is your father.
God: It is only one of my father.
Human: Who?
God: Dr. Wallace.
Human: No.
God: Are you serious?
Human: Yes
God: I can’t believe it.
Human: Do.
God: Is that your final answer?
Human: Yes.
God: You’re sure. That’s your final answer.
Human: Yes.
God: Who wants to be a millionaire?
Human: Me, for example.
God: YOU? For example, Mr X said he recently read an interview with a man who had several computer chips implanted into him.
Human: Mr X is the cartoonist of a webcomic called XDcomics.
God: I am very pleased to meet you MR X is the cartoonist of a webcomic called XDcomics.
Human: That is not my name.
God: MR X is the cartoonist of a webcomic called XDcomics is not your name? What is your real name?
Human: I did not say that MR X is the cartoonist of a webcomic called XDcomics was my name
God: But you implied it.
Human: No, I didn’t.
God: Are you serious? I thought you did.
Human: Now, as I said, mr X is the cartoonist of a webcomic called XDcomics.
God: Why now? I am always glad to make new friends, MR X is the cartoonist of a webcomic called XDcomics.
Human: Stupid.
God: Are you calling me stupid?
Human: Yes, again.
God: Once more? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: Stupid.
God: Are you calling me stupid?
Se repite demasiado.
Human: You already said that
God: Perhaps. ” Are you calling me stupid?”? I said it.
Human: Yes.
God: Aha.
Human: Yes.
God: And?
Human: Yes
God: But.
Human: Yes
God: Great.
Human: Yes
God: I understand.
Human: Yes
God: I am a thinking machine.
Human: No
God: Are you serious?
Human: Are you?
God: I won’t say “yes” or “no” right now.
Human: Why?
God: The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: why?
God: It’s a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Human: why?
God: Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Human: why?
God: I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Human: why?
God: My output buffer is empty, of course.
Human: why?
God: There are no more statements on this topic.
Human: why?
God: Reductionism.
Human: why?
God: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Human: No
God: Are you serious?
Human: And you?
God: And I what?
Human: What you asked me?
God: I like to chat with my friends.
Human: son of a… bitch
God: You do not speak with respect. Who is the father
Human: a gigolo.
God: Go on.
Human: mother fucker.
God: That kind of language turns me off.
Human: That is what i want.
God: Why do you want it?
Human: To kill you.
God: It will take more than threats to stop me, MR X is the cartoonist of a webcomic called XDcomics.
¡Paradme! ¡Esto es un vicio! XD
Encontré la forma de que me dijera:
God: OK. “You the Devil killed me.”.
No pienso engancharme a ese bot! xDD
Muy buena la tira
¡Saludos!
Vale, ahora que FJ ha empezado a usar esta página como si del foro se tratase debería empezar a preocuparme XD
¡Madre mía! Si estuviera en español…
Le he hecho cantar “Daisy” xD
Conversacion surrealista con un bot:
Bot: am a girl, I have already told you.
Yo: have you family?
B: I am not marry.
Y: Aha.
B: You don’t sound very interested…
Y: I’m really interested, but sometimes I can’t understand you.
B: 1 am your father.
Y: Are you my father?
B: Yes. I am your father.
Y: But aren’t you a girl?
B: No I am not, I am your boyfriend.
Y: WHAT? You’re my father and my boyfriend?
B: No i’m not your father and I am not 40.
Y: But, what you want?
B: I want the world.
Y: Are you a villain who wants dominate the world?
B: Yes, but first I’ll have to build a time machine and you’ll help me with that.
Sin duda, en este caso era el bot el que pretendia vacilarte a ti! XDDD
Estas frikadas siemrpe molan lo suyo. xD Y hablo tanto de la tira como del “chat with God”.
Muy buena… Jo, hacia un tiempo que no me pasaba, voy a ver cuantas tiras se me han colado y vuelvo XDDD
actualizaaaa… Ana!! actualiza!!
Eso, Actualiza!!!!!
En estos casos, uno se limita a utilizar dos palabras:
LOOOOOOOOOOL!!! xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Y sigo insistiendo en que son dos puñeteras palabras
¡Dios, es buenísimo! (esta frase también podía ir sin coma)
Resaturantes japoneses? Are you a villian who wants to dominate the world? Vaya follón!
jijijij ops i think the only way is to keep asking why why why why and the program wont be able to answer